Self-Introduction Letter
Subject: Formal Self-introduction Letter
Dear Professor Brad,
I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself and while doing so, I hope to better familiarize myself with you and my classmates. My name is Darren, and I am currently studying as a year 1 student at Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT), pursuing a degree in Mechanical Design and Manufacturing Engineering (MDME). I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic (NYP) with a diploma in Mechatronics Engineering.
During my time in NYP, I was given the opportunity to do an internship at Kinergy, a design manufacturing company. I learnt many things such as assembling products and the ability to work closely with the other engineers in the company. From this experience, it helped me realize that I enjoy the job scope of an engineer as well as understanding the importance of communication and teamwork. After graduating from NYP, I knew that I wanted to pursue a similar course as it piqued my interest in the engineering industry. Therefore, after looking through the courses offered, I decided to enroll in SIT’s Mechanical Design and Manufacturing Engineering.
A communication strength of mine is being understanding, both in group projects and as a friend. I am often willing to hear what others say and try to understand how they feel. However, I am usually more comfortable in a smaller setting and only open up more towards people I am closer to. I believe that my communication weakness is public speaking. I tend to mumble while having presentations or speaking in a large group. Back in NYP, I had a communication module and was given many presentations. Most of the feedback I received was having poor body language and speaking too fast.
By the end of this module, I hope to have gained confidence in speaking to a large group and to be more comfortable having conversations with others. I also hope to find out more on my communication strengths and weaknesses, hoping to use my strengths to help others and to work on my weaknesses.
I look forward to learning more from you and participating more in group discussions.
Yours sincerely,
Sim Yue Jun Darren
The content is very precise, and the language used is also very professional. For the organization, I believe it is better if you use the parallel structure for some sentences. For example, change "From this experience, it helped me realize that I enjoy the job scope of an engineer as well as understanding the importance of communication and teamwork. " to "From this experience, it helped me realize that I enjoy the job scope of an engineer as well as understand the importance of communication and teamwork."
ReplyDeleteHi Shundao, thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I will take note and try to apply parallel structure in the future. I appreciate the feedback from you !
DeleteDear Darren,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this informative letter. It's interesting for readers when you share details of your background in terms of the internship at Kinergy and how your experience there became personal motivation for your studying MDME at SIT.
You also provide impressions of your own comm skills development, and it's good that you tie this to not just to how you want to improve your presenting skills but how you enjoy relating to others, which can become a means of you supporting your peers.
There is one issue with sentence structure:
-- From this experience, it helped me.... > This experience helped me....
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my letter. I appreciate the feedback and will make some amendments to my letter.
I look forward to learning more in your class.
Best Regards,
Darren
I think the content is clear and precise, the paragraph was structured so that the reader know the different content with ease. The example given for communication strength and weakness shows clearly the meaning you were trying to express.
ReplyDeleteHi Lester, thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I appreciate the feedback !
DeleteGood transitioning and content of the letter. In-depth in sharing about your interest in engineering. Was there any unique skillset that you have that others don't?
ReplyDelete